he puts the penis in happiness.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
