He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
