people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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