New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
