therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
