he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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