Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
