do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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