I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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