I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
