BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
