Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
