I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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