TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
