You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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