The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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