The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
