no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
