Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
