I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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