Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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