Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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