I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
