just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
