He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
