I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
