I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
