We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
