Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
