every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize