Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
