oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Still dying that you shit outside
We are all done wearing pants today
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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