Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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