oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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