respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize