I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize