he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
sex in a hospital.. check
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
