when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All the doctor said was why
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
