Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
