So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
