I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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