He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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