he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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