im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
