Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
