is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I want to fling myself into the sun
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
