why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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