So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
