Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
