Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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