I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
