hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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