The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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