Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
