all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize