he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
