what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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