I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize