living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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