he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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