Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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