I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
